[1] This sage undertook to explain the matter of *gemilut chasadim* that Shimon HaTzaddik had mentioned alongside Torah and divine service, and he stated that one's home should have its door open wide. This teaching is all-encompassing: a person should not withhold benefit from others, but should be of use to every person from what is in his home — at times by lending his vessels, at times by lending his money without interest, at times by welcoming guests, and at times by breaking bread with the hungry — for all of this is included in the phrase: "Let your home be open wide." He further cautioned that the poor who come to one's home should not feel ashamed or humiliated, as one who waits awkwardly at another's table, but rather they should feel as members of the household — just as a son feels no shame eating at his father's table. According to the Rambam, this teaching also includes the following: if a person requires servants, he should not acquire gentile bondsmen and bondswomen, but rather should take from among the poor of Israel to serve him; and if he requires work to be done, he should give it to the poor of Israel rather than to foreigners, so that the poor may benefit from his resources and become as members of his household and his servants. This moral instruction he derived from the words of the Torah, as it is stated (Devarim 15:11): "You shall surely open your hand to your brother, to your poor, and to your needy in your land." Likewise, regarding buying and selling, he was commanded to do so with his brethren and not with foreigners, as it is stated (Vayikra 25:14): "And when you sell anything to your neighbor, or buy from your neighbor's hand." There are also those who interpret the phrase "and let the poor be members of your household" as deriving from the word *anavah* — humility — meaning that the members of one's household should be humble and should not rebuke those who come to request tzedakah, but rather should respond to them gently, speaking to their hearts and not causing them shame.

[2] The question of why the Mishnah juxtaposes this teaching with "do not engage in excessive conversation with a woman" is because it sometimes happens that among the poor and guests who come to one's home there will be poor women as well. Therefore, the Sages warned against engaging in excessive conversation with them, lest one's heart become inflamed through such conversation and one come to licentiousness. This too falls under the theme of "sanctify yourselves and be holy" — sanctify yourself in that which is permitted to you, so that you do not come to transgress what is forbidden. The Mishnah provides the reason for warning against excessive conversation with a woman by stating: "regarding one's own wife they said this — how much more so regarding the wife of another." That is to say, the Sages established as a safeguard that it is not fitting for a person to engage in excessive conversation even with his own wife, lest he come to improper thoughts and become overly attached to her — and certainly this applies to the wife of another. As they said in the chapter Mi SheMetho (Berachot 22a): "that Torah scholars should not be found with their wives constantly, like roosters." And in Tractate Kallah (chapter 2) they said: "Conversation leads to improper thought, improper thought leads to desire, desire leads to pursuit, pursuit leads to act." From here our Sages, of blessed memory, taught: "Whoever engages in excessive conversation with a woman brings harm upon himself, neglects words of Torah, and will ultimately inherit Gehinnom." That is to say, from the teaching of this wise man — "do not engage in excessive conversation with a woman" — the Sages derived that whether it be one's own wife or any other woman, he will bring harm upon himself, in that he will come to improper thoughts and to excessive marital relations, which is a great harm to his life. Beyond this, he sins against his own soul, for even if there is no dimension of prohibition regarding that particular woman, there is no doubt that when his yetzer hara burns with that physical craving, he will neglect words of Torah — for Torah requires an unencumbered heart. And since one is driven in pursuit of this consuming passion for forbidden intimacy, through the neglect of Torah and the inflaming of the yetzer hara, he will progress from the permitted to the forbidden — and will ultimately inherit Gehinnom. Indeed, they stated in the chapter HeChalil (Sukkah 52a): Rav Asi said — to what is the yetzer hara comparable? At first it is like a spider's thread, and in the end like the thick ropes used to haul a wagon, as it is said (Yeshayahu 5:18): "Woe to those who draw iniquity with cords of falsehood, and sin as with cart ropes."

[3] He, may He be blessed, has already taught us this in His Torah, through what He commanded prior to the chosen Theophany: "Do not draw near to a woman" (Shemot 19:15), because the pursuit of her distances a person from all perfection. And Shlomo elaborated extensively on moral warnings regarding this matter, for having been ensnared by her corruption, he said (Mishlei 6:30–35): "Men do not despise a thief if he steals…yet if he is found he must repay sevenfold…but he who commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding" — and the rest of the verses — in which he declared that the desire of adultery is more debased than the desire of theft. He brought several proofs for this: The first — a thief is not despised by people when he steals "to fill his belly" because he is hungry, and thus there is no disgrace in this in the eyes of others. Furthermore, the thief, though he wrongs others, benefits himself, as it says "to fill his belly." And furthermore, his punishment is not severe: if he "repays sevenfold" to the owner of the stolen property, and if he has nothing — "he shall give all the wealth of his house." The adulterer, however, is the very opposite of all this. Just as the thief benefited himself by filling his belly when he was hungry, so the adulterer — "lacks understanding; he who does it destroys his own soul." If the thief "is not despised when he steals to fill" his lack, not so the adulterer, for "wounds and dishonor he shall find, and his reproach shall not be wiped away." If the thief's punishment is merely to repay sevenfold, not so the adulterer — for the husband of the adulteress will kill him, as it is written: "For jealousy is the rage of a man, and he will not spare in the day of vengeance; he will not regard any ransom" — as one might do for a thief — "nor will he be content though you multiply bribes." This is the explanation of the teaching of Rabbi Yosi ben Yochanan according to its plain meaning.

[4] It is also possible to interpret this passage further by noting that women are naturally inclined toward miserliness, and that their eye is unkind toward gifts to the poor and hospitality to guests, which the Mishnah has mentioned. Therefore, the Sages warned that in matters of charity and acts of lovingkindness, a man should not engage in much conversation with his wife. The Mishnah uses the definite article — the woman — to allude to the woman who sits beside him and lies in his bosom. That is to say, a man should not take his wife's counsel, nor should he carry out charity and hospitality under her authority, for she will always deter him from doing so. The proper interpretation of the Sages' teaching, "Do not engage in excessive conversation with a woman," is therefore not referring to another man's wife or to an unmarried woman, but rather to one's own wife — that a man should not engage in extensive conversation and consultation with her regarding matters of charity and the service of Hashem. For whoever engages in much conversation with his wife and hearkens to her counsel in such matters "brings harm upon himself," since his wife will come to dominate him completely, and he will become neglectful of Torah and its mitzvot, and "his end will be to inherit Gehinnom," for he will have turned away from the ways of Torah. All this harm is caused by conversing with one's wife and taking her advice in matters of mitzvot — and this is so even with regard to one's own wife. How much more so, then — kal vachomer — does this apply to another man's wife, with whom it is certainly not fitting to seek counsel or engage in excessive conversation. This lesson too was derived from the Torah, drawing on several sources: from the account of the first man, Adam, who — because he heeded the voice of his wife — was driven out of Gan Eden and inherited Gehinnom; from Moshe Rabbeinu, who separated from his wife so that she would not hinder him from attaining perfection; and from the account of Shlomo, whose wives turned his heart astray. On this very theme the Midrash expounded the verse, "For I am more brutish than any man, and I have not the understanding of a human being" (Mishlei 30:2): Who is "a man"? This refers to Moshe, as it is written, "the man Moshe was exceedingly humble" (Bamidbar 12:3). Shlomo declared: I was more brutish than the man Moshe, who separated from his wife and thereby merited greatness, whereas I clung to them — "and I have not the understanding of a human being" — I did not take understanding from the matter of the first man, whose wife brought him to sin. A lesson may likewise be drawn from the affairs of Achav, who, by taking counsel with his wife Izevel, slew Navot HaYizre'eli in order to seize his vineyard.